“Just wait. The moment you least expect it, when you finally accept your singleness and are content, that’s when God will bring that special person into your life.”
Okay, so I’m going to force myself to be content. I’ll try really really hard, and like a magic potion he will appear.
I wish.
I’ve always hated that mentality. It’s usually stated by middle aged married women who have the best of intentions and only want you to be happy, but I believe there are a few flaws in their logic:
1) It puts all the control and/or blame on us. We are the ones who are not being content enough if we haven’t found a mate yet, and we can do something to make God work faster. Legalistic Christianity at its core.
2) God doesn’t work on our timetables. Not because he wants us to suffer in solitude for years and years, but because if He has it in His plan for us to marry, it will happen at just the right time for His plan, not ours.
As I wasn’t was listening to the sermon this morning at church, I was thinking about this very issue. I found myself drawn to the book of Ruth, and a few things struck me:
So how do I stop thinking about myself and my wants, and start thinking about what God can do with my life? How do I rest in the truth that if God has someone out there with whom I can partner to do His work, He will work it out?
Isn’t there a magic potion for this?
Okay, so I’m going to force myself to be content. I’ll try really really hard, and like a magic potion he will appear.
I wish.
I’ve always hated that mentality. It’s usually stated by middle aged married women who have the best of intentions and only want you to be happy, but I believe there are a few flaws in their logic:
1) It puts all the control and/or blame on us. We are the ones who are not being content enough if we haven’t found a mate yet, and we can do something to make God work faster. Legalistic Christianity at its core.
2) God doesn’t work on our timetables. Not because he wants us to suffer in solitude for years and years, but because if He has it in His plan for us to marry, it will happen at just the right time for His plan, not ours.
As I wasn’t was listening to the sermon this morning at church, I was thinking about this very issue. I found myself drawn to the book of Ruth, and a few things struck me:
- Ruth had an unshakable commitment to doing what was right. Her goal was not to get a man after her husband died, but to honor God by caring for Naomi.
- God blessed Ruth with Boaz, not because He just wanted Ruth and Boaz to be happy, but because He had a greater plan - continuing the line of David and eventually Jesus. It was not about them, it was about Him.
So how do I stop thinking about myself and my wants, and start thinking about what God can do with my life? How do I rest in the truth that if God has someone out there with whom I can partner to do His work, He will work it out?
Isn’t there a magic potion for this?
No magic potion. But people always say crazy things like the above quote when they want to make "you" feel better. I think they really just want to make themselves feel better about their uncomfortableness that you're single. It breaks their paradigm of how life should be.
ReplyDeleteSad.
“Just wait. The moment you least expect it, when you finally accept your singleness and are content, that’s when God will bring that special person into your life.”
ReplyDeleteThis quotation is what Dan and I like to call a "crazymaker." Thank you to Dr. Cloud and Dr. Townsend for that phrase. :)
As for a magic potion, I like to think that getting a master's of divinity makes me a quasi-sorceress, so I'll start working on that... right after my Old Testament class. :)
Oh! And I think we need a certain level of DISCONTENT - otherwise we have a harder time following God. I call it "spiritual discontent": a certain longing in your heart that tells you that God is not quite done with you yet...
ReplyDeleteA certain level of discontent is necessary for any type of chnage: if we're not motivated and don't see a need to change, then we won't try. This totally applies to being single, too, and the idea that we need to be MORE content and LESS willing to bust out of our single state is just silly.